No we're to go

So let's cut out all the blah blah of what a nice sunny day and how we arrived rubbish, I fell off.

Yep I fell off, curbar has it's own magic. The place is one on its own, drop ya grade on this crag or it will feed you your ass on a plate.

Target, kayak E1 5b. Voted E2 5b on UKC. I am happy to go with UKC on this one. Hey not that I haven't run this route before, last year I made headway on this route but not to the extent of the lead. I top roped it and found the exit an absolute mare. So with the recent climb fest dean and I have had in the peak recently I thought, big mistake I was ready for kayak. Curbar is a crag we've climbed on many times, but still has the upper hand.

 Shoes warming in the afternoon sun ready for action. Action ya gonna get in full, warmed up on the E3 next door on top rope for a couple of runs. Ok feeling good, three quick draws, two too many and my set of totem cams. Not sure which cam fits the top brake, so going to take the lot. Decided to twin the route, set off ready as I will ever be. All feels good, dean spots me for the first 15 feet or so. No gear at the inn you might say. The only gear on this route is at the top in a massive horizontal ledge, by the time you get here the games over as you are on safe ground, just got the weird exit move to contend with but not that scary as you have shit loads of gear at your waist if you make a mess of it. Not like the run up to the break, no gear hotel here.

Impact zone, cleared all the bags away for the ascent. Dean spots me, I move up steady with good holds, then it's the big big reach for a horizontal shelf in a long like sloper style. I am pushing hard at this point to get my fingers on the sloper. All feels ok but I know it's a one way road, weird but still push on with confidence. I know I have security in that dean will catch me. Pulling up on thin holds I get to the crux move, pressing hard on finger ends I realise it's a false hope. The next move is a big slap up into unknown ground. Drop down on my fingers to relieve the pressure, go back for a second go, slap no slap, shit make ya mind up. Nope, it's not gonna happen. Back climb isn't an option, I've gone to far for that. So I drop down on my finger ends to try and smear back down. Newtons law takes over at this point, it's like falling down a waterfall. All I can see is rock passing in front of me, boom, the floor arrives like an elevator at speed. Dean spots me in the hips, I feel nothing. Next min I am on the floor moving fast towards the edge of the crag,and dean. I hit dean square on, he goes backwards towards the edge and a nasty landing. I reach out and grab his belay plate with my left hand, clamp, iam on it. Dean at this point is tittering on the edge of a downward slope into boulder and heather heaven. 

So what you reckon, pint at the Moon then. Yep yar on.

END OF THE LESSON. CURBAR RULES.